Last night I felt as though my heart would break. I don’t know why. We’re so close, Choutarou, so close. Every night we taste, feel, explore each other. And yet, there’s something not quite right.

You used to smile at me, your eyes holding a glow that made my stomach twirl and do summersaults. But, while you smile Choutarou, your eyes don’t glow quite as bright. My stomach doesn’t want to join a gymnastics team anymore either.

I keep thinking that maybe we’re just losing some spark, some interest. Yet, I know it simply isn’t true. Every time I see you I want you. Every time we’re alone, we end up kissing, rubbing, moaning.

We’ve always been so close. So close we’re practically joined at the hip. Except... Love isn’t limited to just one person, Choutarou. We both know it, but I know that you... You feel it.

Every time he comes over, says hello, plays a match, you can’t take your eyes off of him. You’ve realized it, although I'm certain you don’t think I have. Choutarou, we’re so close. Yet, it’s because of that, that I’m telling you this now. I can let you go. I can say good-bye, and I can hold my tears until after you’ve left.

Maybe I knew why, after all. Why I felt like my heart was ripping out of my chest.

I watch you as you leave the apartment, fighting back the tears I said I wouldn’t let fall, not in front of you. Even after you go, it seems, I’m not going to be free from you. Choutarou, I’ll keep thinking of you, of our new found distance... And maybe, maybe, after I feel better, after I learn to not cry in front of you, I’ll invite you over for dinner. Hiyoshi too.

The End

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