Ohtori watched as Ryou slept in his bed. He liked the way that Ryou had just...fit into his apartment and his life. Though they had always stayed over at Ryou's apartment, Ohtori had always wanted to bring Ryou here, to his apartment, hopefully to stay. Now that Ohtori had opened the proverbial door, he had a feeling that Ryou would want to stay in this apartment, with Ohtori.

"Choutarou…?" Ryou asked sleepily, blue eyes still dazed from sleep.

"Hey, love," Ohtori smiled, slipping back into bed and pulling Ryou into his arms.

"Mm…you're cold," Ryou mumbled in annoyance, wrapping himself around Ohtori to warm him. "Stay in bed."

"I'll stay in bed with you for as long as you want, pretty," Ohtori said softly, easily falling back into their terms of endearment for each other as he brushed purple hair out of blue eyes.

"Better stay forever then, prince," Ryou smiled, teasing.

"'Prince?'" Ohtori echoed with a smile. "I'd forgotten that one."

"Mm, silly lovey," Ryou purred in English, pushing Ohtori onto his back and straddling him. "I hope you haven't forgotten the other things."

Ohtori held Ryou by his hips and watched his lover in amusement. "Of course I haven't forgotten."

"Smart answer," Ryou grinned, the last of sleep gone from his eyes. "We have time to make up for."

"Six years," Ohtori sighed, stroking Ryou's hips.

"It could have been longer," Ryou whispered.

"It could have been shorter," Ohtori pointed out as well. "I could have gone to find you."

Ryou cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"This one saw every magazine Shishido-sama was in," Ohtori said teasingly with a smile, caressing the side of Ryou's face.

Ryou looked hurt and crawled off Ohtori's legs and tried to get out of bed, but Ohtori wrapped an arm around Ryou's waist and pulled him to his side. "No, you're not going anywhere."

"Choutarou," Ryou moaned, sounding pained. "Why?"

"Are you ashamed of them?"

"Some of them," Ryou admitted. "I didn't think anyone here would see them."

"After the first magazine, Keigo tracked them all down."

"That ass—" Ryou sputtered.

"I asked him to," Ohtori soothed, rubbing Ryou's back, which was promptly turned on him. "Taki had the first magazine, and he tried to hide it on me, but I got it from Keigo, who thought I deserved the chance to see you again, even if it was just in a magazine."

Ryou, who looked like he was going to cry, turned and smacked Ohtori's arm painfully. "Bastard!" he snapped. He turned and grabbed a pillow before thwaping Ohtori again. "You son of a bitch!"

Ohtori laughed and half-heartedly tried to fend Ryou off. "I was in Berlin the same time you were doing a show, about two years ago."

Ryou's jaw dropped, the pillow hanging loosely from his hand.

"Hiyo ripped me a new one when he thought I was going to see you," Ohtori said, smiling at the memory.

Ryou thwapped Ohtori viciously. "You idiot!" he snapped. "I'm glad Hiyo stopped you!"

"Why?" Ohtori asked, frowning as he grabbed the pillow away from Ryou. Before his incensed lover could grab another, Ohtori grabbed Ryou's wrists and trapped his struggling lover against his chest.

"Two years ago?" Ryou demanded. "Two years ago, moron, this wouldn't have been a possibility!"

"What do you mean?" Ohtori asked, letting Ryou go.

"Since you saw every magazine I was in, pray tell, do you remember what happened two years ago? Especially after Berlin," Ryou snapped, obviously upset.

Ohtori frowned and sat up. "What do you mean?"

Ryou's eyes narrowed. "It was all over the news in Europe and America."

"What are you talking about?"

Ryou looked pained and shook his head. "No. I'd rather not revisit that. Let's…let's just forget it."

"Ryou," Ohtori murmured, worried, pushing back Ryou's hair and kissing the corner of his eye. "Tell me? Please?"

Ryou turned and straddled Ohtori's lap, kissing him desperately, running his hands over Ohtori's chest. "Let's just leave it, eh? Forget I said anything."

"Trying to distract me?" Ohtori asked with a smile.

Ryou's hand drifted down to stroke Ohtori's cock. "Seems to be working," he said with a smirk.

Ohtori bit back a moan and grabbed Ryou's hands. "Later. What happened?"

Ryou sighed and pressed up against Ohtori. "Nothing, just a minor mental breakdown. Lithium for a year or so, not a big deal. Now, I demand you kiss me."

Ohtori looked stricken. "Ryou…"

Ryou sighed and slipped off Ohtori's lap and out of bed. He ran his hand through his hair and looked around. "I think I better go," he whispered.

"No!" Ohtori said, jumping out of bed and pulling Ryou into his arms. "No, please, love. Don't go away mad."

"I'm not mad," Ryou whispered against Ohtori's shoulder. "I'm not. I just…don't like those memories."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"No," Ryou said vehemently. "I don't wanna think about it at all."

"I always seem to set off the mine fields," Ohtori murmured softly, stroking Ryou's hair. "Come to bed, love. It's 3 am, we should get some more sleep."

Ryou nodded absently and let Ohtori tuck him back into bed, curling up against his lover's side almost as soon as Ohtori had gotten into bed. Five minutes later, both were asleep.

~

"Neil…?"

"Ryou? What's wrong?"

"Chole's in Japan."

"Fucking hell."

"Yeah…"

"What else?"

"Hunh?"

"You sound like you're going to cry, Ryou. I know you, remember? You can't fool me."

"C-Choutarou knows…about what happened in Berlin."

"…what do you mean?"

"I told him about the Lithium and the breakdown."

"Did you tell him all of it?"

"…no."

"Are you going to?"

"I…I don't…How's Italy?"

"Tell him, sweet."

"Neil…"

"Don't cry, Ryou. Just tell him. You'll feel better about it."

"I don't want to."

"You're crying."

"So?"

"I hate it when you cry."

"Sorry…"

"Tell him what you're comfortable saying. He won't push for more if he sees how distressed you get about it."

"Neil…"

"I'll see you in London in a month, okay?"

"What about Chole…?"

"What's Atobe's number?"

~

When Ohtori woke up, the bed was empty.

Ohtori sighed and turned his head into his pillow. He had really fucked up early this morning. He knew that Ryou would be ashamed of some of the shoots he had done. Quite a few of them had him wearing almost nothing at all, or simply nothing but his own skin. More often then not, it was Ryou and Neil together in those shoots, but every now and then a rather dazzling beauty would be thrown in to off set Ryou's looks. Ohtori had hated and loved those photos at the same time, but they had trickled down to almost nothing in the past year.

Since Berlin.

Ohtori sighed. He wanted to know, to try and heal that hurt, but something told him that it was none of his business, and it would only serve to hurt them both if he pushed it. It didn't have anything to do with him, so he should let it be. Both Taki and Hiyoshi had beaten that point rather viciously into him.

A door creaked open and Ohtori looked up to see Ryou standing in the doorway wearing one of Ohtori's old, large t-shirts from college. The shirts that had always been large on Ohtori covered Ryou rather well.

"Hey," Ohtori smiled. "Thought you left."

Ryou shook his head and fiddled with his hair, which he had put in a braid. "I wouldn't do that." The "again" hung in the air between them, unsaid and unneeded. Ryou licked his lips and looked away from Ohtori. "There's tea brewing, and I was going to make breakfast, but figured I should wake you up first."

"Tea sounds heavenly," Ohtori said, getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of sleep pants. "As does breakfast, actually."

Ryou nodded and slipped out of the bedroom. Ohtori frowned and followed, worried. Too many things were being dredged up from the past, too many things way too fast. It didn't just hurt Ryou, it hurt Ohtori too to see him like this.

"Do you remember how I said I was…involved with one of the previous photographers?" Ryou asked quietly as he poured them both tea, hands shaking a bit.

"Yes," Ohtori said, accepting the cup as he watched Ryou in worry.

"He wasn't…wasn't someone I should have gotten involved in," Ryou said softly. "You've seen the pictures, so you know what he was like. He preferred to show us off, not just in clothes, but in anything. He was manipulative and possessive…worse than you after Keigo, actually."

"You stayed with him?" Ohtori asked, disbelieving.

"Not…not willingly," Ryou said hesitantly. "I…he liked to play mind games. He could get you so twisted up that you wouldn't be able to figure out what color the sky was, or which way was up or down. I was lonely when he started going after me because Neil was being signed for all these different accounts without me. When his contracts were up, he tried to get me away from the guy, but it didn't really work.

"Berlin was…not a good memory. There were supposed to be three shows, but only one actually happened. The night after that first show, he started getting into me, yelling at me for no reason except to yell. He was drunk and said a lot of things that he shouldn't have. He…knew…about how it was between us at the end…and he used that against me a lot.

"I don't…really…remember a lot of what happened that night," Ryou said slowly, softly, hesitantly, hands gripping his mug tightly as he stared into it. "I remember having Neil pry me off the guy, the ambulance's sirens screaming, and some of the hospital, but the drugs kicked in then. I wasn't in good shape. I just kind of…snapped, I guess. The stress, constant exhaustion, and the manipulation set me off, I guess, and I just…broke."

"Ryou…" Ohtori whispered, staring in horror at the other man.

"They put me on Lithium to try and stabilize my mood," Ryou said with a wry smile. "The doctors didn't like the way I tended to pull away and switch between certain feelings when I was stressed or feeling cornered, so they put me on Lithium. I was only on it for about seven or eight months before Neil and Jesse demanded I be taken off it. I'm glad they did. I couldn't function too well on it, and my hands shook all the time. I did end up sleeping, though, just…more than I should have…"

Ohtori put his tea down and plucked Ryou's cup out of his hands as well before crushing him in a tight hug. "Ryou, love, it's okay, it's okay now," he whispered, holding Ryou tightly.

"If you'd shown up two years ago, Neil would have hit you, or just killed you. I probably wouldn't have even recognized you," Ryou whispered.

"It's okay now," Ohtori said, pushing Ryou's head up to meet his eyes. "It is. Things are working out, we understand each other better now than we ever have before. You aren't alone anymore, and you don't have to deal with people like that photographer, or Chole, or anyone that you don't want to deal with ever again. I promise I won't leave you to face people like that on your own. I swear it to you."

Ryou nodded mutely, blue eyes still looking bruised around the edges. "I know," he said softly, smiling to himself. "I'm glad of it. This is how it should have been."

"This is how it is now, and it could only have happened now," Ohtori said firmly. "We were too young. We didn't know who we were, and we already had committed ourselves. Now, though, we know who we are. We've lived, and we've made mistakes. We know what we can and cannot do, and we know that we have to work on this together, at the same time. Otherwise, it'll fall apart again."

Ryou threw his arms around Ohtori and kissed him suddenly. Ohtori stumbled back a little, wrapping an arm around Shishido's waist and kissing him back just as passionately. Ryou's hands moved over Ohtori's chest and slid to his hips, slipping his hand inside to curl around Ohtori's erection. Ohtori moaned and pulled Ryou closer against him, letting his lover take control.

Ohtori knew this wasn't Ryou trying to distract him like last night; if it was, he would have stopped him. No, Ohtori thought with a smile as he pulled Ryou's shirt off and lifted him on top of the counter, this was about renewing a promise, and making a new one. Ryou moaned, wrapping his legs around Ohtori's waist as Ohtori slid deep inside him, clutching at him and crying his name. This was the way it had been, the love and passion, with no demons lurking about to be tripped over. Thrusting and stroking, kissing and moaning, Ohtori reached out and grabbed Ryou's hand as they came.

He knew that things had happened, and probably would happen, but that no matter what, this was how they were. This was how they would stay.

~

Ohtori watched Ryou bat sleepily at his cell phone, trying to grab it but not having the energy for it. The two had finished their tea and had a quick breakfast of eggs and toast before falling back into bed and wearing each other out. The phone had started ringing after they had tiredly arranged themselves around each other, and neither was particularly motivated to grab it.

Ryou muttered and finally grabbed it, flipping it open and curling back up against Ohtori's chest, pressing the little button to make it a speaker phone. "Hello?"

"Ryou?"

"What is it, Chole?"

"I'm being deported," Chole said angrily.

Ryou and Ohtori blinked at the phone. "What?" they both asked.

"Please don't tell me you're in bed with that asshole."

"Yeah," Ryou said icily, "I am."

"Ryou, do you not—"

"You're the one who doesn't understand, Chole," Ryou said angrily. "Even my friends here are starting to get over it. It's about time you did too."

"Which one of your charming friends is responsible for me being deported?"

"Like I know?" Ryou asked viciously. "Only Neil and Atobe know you're here and that you…" Realization dawned upon Ryou while Ohtori frowned at him.

"I'm going to kill Neil," Chole growled out.

Ryou smiled into Ohtori's shoulder as Ohtori took the phone away from him.

"Look, Chole, I don't have a problem with you. I'm glad you took care of Ryou for me, but it's time you step back now. You're his friend, and I understand that. But if you think you're going to ruin this for us, you are sadly mistaken."

Silence on the other end.

"Chole," Ryou said loudly enough to carry to the phone, "I'll see you when I'm in Boston again, and I'll explain a little better, all right?"

"I trust your judgment, Ryou. I just hope I don't have to put you back together again."

"Bye, Chole."

Ohtori hung up and pulled the blankets up over both him and Ryou, and contented himself with stroking Ryou's soft hair.

~

Atobe hung up with Shishido and turned back to an amused Oshitari. "What?"

"You had someone deported because they threatened their relationship," Oshitari drawled.

"Go to hell, Yuushi," Atobe muttered, propping his head up on one hand.

"Been there, done that, it'll be a cold day indeed when I piss Gakuto off that much again," Oshitari grinned.

Atobe was quiet for a few moments before taking a sip of his tea. "Yuushi? How did you propose to Gakuto?"

Oshitari looked startled, "Why?"

"I want to ask Jiroh, but I lack the…words to do it."

"I swear, I should put a sign above my office door that says 'Love Doctor,'" Oshitari sighed.

"Just tell me," Atobe snapped, glaring. "How did you ask Gakuto to marry you?"

Oshitari smiled and leaned back in his chair, "Now that is a very interesting story."

The End

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