Dedicated to Rae for being an inspiring Tori, and Belle for simply being inspiring.
by Forbidden Tenshi
I have always said that you were my first, in every meaning of the word. But I doubt you know just how fondly I recall all those firsts. I'd had crushes on others, mild infatuations. I'd read somewhere that having crushes on older people – even those your own gender – was often times simply a phase that was soon outgrown. But you have always been more than just an infatuation.
With you, it wasn't when I laid eyes upon you that I knew I was in love with you. It wasn't even when I spoke to you, and heard the way my name fell from your lips as if the syllables were made just for you; nor was it when I saw you pull your shirt over your head with an effortless tug, revealing the lean muscles that fled down your torso in long graceful lines, begging for my touch.
When you asked me when I fell in love with you, I stuttered, and told you the absolute truth: I don't know. But when you became the first one I wanted to see in the morning (and prior to sighting you, I would be most irritable and unresponsive to any other), when the mere thought of playing tennis with you made my heart miss a beat, and when I caught myself watching you, the vision of you causing my lips to form a tiny smile upon their own accord, I knew.
You were the first one to make me blush like that, feeling as if heat from my belly was welling up to burn my cheeks brightly. The first to make me turn away, hiding that flush and yet grin at the same time from it all. You were the first to reach your hand out to me and convey with a mere touch that you would support me in any way possible.
I had averted my gaze away from yours, a pang of humiliation stabbing quickly through me, ashamed of the hidden secrets that you would have been able to read plainly in my eyes. But you reached forward, tilting my chin just so, our gazes locking, pure emotion expressed simply as we watched each other. And I discovered the same lust and desire mirrored in your eyes, shining only for me. And with that my doubts were banished. When you leaned forward, lips requesting a kiss as they met mine, all rational thought deserted me under that most tender gesture.
That kiss. It was so much like our first in many ways. Even though your lips, warm and soft, were familiar, and the way your tongue slithered into my mouth to twist and twine with mine own was a dance we had performed time and time before. There was something there that you'd never shown me before. Something most people would label passion, lust, desire, and yet those words alone could never truly accurately describe what I was feeling emanating from you. A primitive need transmitted through your lips and tongue alone. A base instinct welling within you that you were also drawing out of me, coaxing and encouraging, challenging me to match you.
How long we kissed, I can only guess, as seconds seemed to draw out into hours. When you finally pulled away I was breathless and weakened from the way your lips and tongue had made love to my mouth with beguiling gentleness. My body moved on it's own accord from then on, as if with that kiss you had stolen away any hesitations I had possessed. I could not deny myself, the urge to touch you and explore you had surfaced with renewed vigour – a fact I blamed firmly on you. And so my hands rose, thumbs stroking along the edge of your collarbone, fingertips tracing over the well-defined muscles that adorned your chest.
You watched my every movement as I discovered your body, palms smoothing over the contours that had only previously been adored by roving eyes. My hands slid down the polished line of your back, feather-light touches dancing over every last inch of flesh I could reach. I watched, fascinated, as you moved beneath my touch, back arching sensually in my hands, as if you were eager for more contact. And the way your hips shifted ever-so-slightly forward when I cupped your buttocks, feeling the way your muscles clenched with the movement.
With that tiny motion a flush of heat crept up my neck to color my cheeks, and trickled its way down through my arteries to pool like concentrated lava in my belly and groin. I loved that, that knowing smile you gave me as the very tips of our arousal trembled against each other, the most sensitive parts of us meeting for the first time. And the way you moved over me with careful deliberation, as if you were hell bent on sweetly torturing me, causing thousands of tiny explosions to burst just beneath my skin.
You entered me so slowly, so gently, that it felt like forever would pass before you would be completely buried inside me. At each pitiful whimper I'd utter when the pain was too great to keep in, you'd halt, and I could feel the way you were quivering inside my body. The barest hint of a nod and you'd proceed once more, the tip of you parting constricting muscle that stretched to accommodate you, until you were entirely nestled deep within me. How long we lay like that, I can only guess, with our hips against each other and my hands delving down into your hair to twist and tug at as I grew accustomed to you.
You body was shivering slightly, just as mine was from the pure thrill of being so close to you, surrounded by you, encompassed by you. You bowed your head, because you were unable to resist tasting me, your lips kissing a searing trail along my collarbone. And each kiss you graced upon me caused you to flinch inside me, setting ablaze nerve-endings within my deepest recesses.
And then you began to rock gently, to and fro within me, and I could not help but groan at the way you dragged yourself out of me ever so slowly, leaving my muscles aching to surround you once more. You'd then glide forward again, as if you knew my body's desperate wishes better than I myself knew them, and were frantic to fulfil them. Each movement you made stole more breath out of me until I was panting and gasping under your tender assault.
You moved like that against me for an endless eternity, hips thrusting to a rhythm that was so deeply ingrained in us it was more than primitive. A rhythm that mine responded to in kind, bucking up to meet yours with ardent fervour. Until our bodies were covered in a sheen of sweat that intermingled with the scent of sex and lust and love that was filling the darkened room. Filling the room as it was filling our senses, immersing us in each other, in our oneness.
My body shook with the need for release, demanding it, and yet you only prolonged this sensation that racked me, causing me to quiver violently from head to toe beneath you. Your movements slowed, becoming deliberate, teasing me until I was at the edge of madness. Until I was near breaking point. And then you mercifully let me crumble, my body shuddering under yours, muscles contracting and constricting tightly around you as pearly droplets flecked your chest.
I felt you twitching inside me as you joined me, soaring higher than any plane would ever be able to fly. Saw you bow your head, eyes closed tight against the overwhelming sensations, heard you pant and sob as your breath was wretched out of you.
And afterward, wrapped around each other in the warm afterglow of our union, with my fingers playing through your hair and your head resting upon my chest as you listened to our hearts match each other, beat for beat to lull you to sleep, I confessed I could never live without you.
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