His tongue, the same delicate baby pink as always traced carefully over his pale lips. It was all so familiar to watch those lips with such untamable longing. "Ohtori-kun." I muttered under my breath, reaching forward to run two long, calloused fingertips on the same trail blazed only moments ago by the younger boy's tongue. I wanted my name torn from that trembling mouth just once, in a deep, guttural purr, an outpouring of the same lust I felt whenever he appeared. Warm chocolate eyes blinked hazily upward, looking right at me. But he never saw the depths of my azure eyes, hiding pure heat, so deep it hurt, it burned.

"Ryou." He looked at me again, those same taunting lips curving into that delicate smile. The smile he always had permanently frozen on his face. I always told him that the whole fucking world could fall down around him and he would still just smile. But, I always knew better. The smile could lie to the rest of the world and they would happily believe it, saying he was such a happy boy, never a worry, never a concern. All of the sadness was instead held in his eyes; there I could see the pain he really felt. It was obvious he was hurting right now.

"Choutarou…" He frowned as I muttered his name, pulling his head to the flat plane of my chest to hold him closer than any others could imagine. I sighed again as I reached down to tangle those long musician's fingers in my own. No one else could see through that damned smile. They couldn't see him now, they never really did. The pain flashing brilliantly in his eyes as a dying ember, dancing in those deep oak orbs. That hurt, which was only brought to my attention after causing it by refusing his kindness for so long. I always pushed him too hard; even now his muscular frame was shaking from the hurt. Tears wetting his rose tinted cheeks, he was dying. He died every time we made love. He always died just so I could live.

The End

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